


The dream is over

by black_polar_bear



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Bad Decisions, Drama & Romance, F/F, Family Drama, Human Gems (Steven Universe), Married Life, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-10-13 18:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17493179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_polar_bear/pseuds/black_polar_bear
Summary: Up until now, they have had an ideal romance, like something out of a fairy tail, ending with a perfect wedding at the side of the beach. But life doesn't let you life "happy ever after" and now the married couple has to struggle with the realities of adult life and reconsider the choices that let them to this point.





	1. Wake up

 [wedding photo #4](https://someblogurl.tumblr.com/image/182180509676)

It felt like little vignettes in time, a photo album of the best moments of her life; the two of them playing together on the playground, Jasper pushing Lapis on the swing so high she Could touch The sky. Sneaking out in the middle of the night to see each other behind her mom's back. Having sex in the back of the car on prom night. College days full of hope for the future with promises of success and possibilities. Then the weeding at the beach, then buying the apartment and the insemination papers and then, and then, and then, the memories were passing too fast and were overlapping each other,and then faded away with a blink and A scream.

**_ 4 am _ **

Lapis slowly blinked, her mind still going between the beautiful dream and her apartment where she heard a distant yet near cry. It was four am but the now familiar sound was calling for her.

"its your turn" mumbled Jasper beside her, not bothering to open her eyes.

Lapis slowly rose up from the bed, and walked dragging her feet To the source of the noise, she wasn't completely awake but she didn't need to, she walked to the other side of the room where the cradle was, she coin the crying baby on her shoulder, caressing softly her back and repeating "shhh shhh, mommy is here" over and over until the baby ceased to cry.

Then she felt something wet on her shoulder. vomit, she just gave a mild grunt of acknowledgement, not caring for another shirt. she walked back to her bed with the baby now asleep again and laid down on the bed, eager to go back to fantasise the past. A couple hours later something anchored her down to the real world yet again, this time it Was a more pleasant distraction, it was Jasper getting ready to go to the gym, as always. Lapis just stared at her wife's muscular naked body getting dressed in the side of The bed, she loved the sight, it bringed back so many good memories,so many times she rejoiced under those big muscular arms, in so many places she made Jasper scream her name with passion. While she recounted her happy memories she slowly stretched her arm and and put her hand in the shorts Jasper had just put on. Jasper suddenly stopped putting her bra on and turn her head, Lapis looked At her with a mischievous smile.

"good Morning sleepy head, sorry I didn't meant to wake you up,ill see you in some hours" Japser kindly kissed her and continued To put her Sport bra on.

"I dont Mind, as long as I get to have a little fun before we start the day..."

"Mm Sorry, I really cant be late to training, the tournament is in a Month remember? I feel this is the One" she Said as she tied her left shoe.

Lapis smile drooped fast and she quickly retrieved Under The sheets "well speaking Of winning Something, do you have shift this week?"

Jasper Paused for A second and the Began to tie her right Shoe *sigh "no, fucking Kevin is not giving many shifts, I bet is cause of that new skinny girl who keeps her skirt short as long as she gets more shifts"

"... you know Peri's offer is still up right?" Lapis casually said looking at the ceiling.

Jasper quickly stood Up with a loud stump "aghh not this again"

"Im serious Jasper we need the money"

"I know thats why Im training hard to win the coming tournaments . Look, its too early for this, we'll talk about it later kay? bye" Jasper gave her a quick kiss and Left the room.

"okay, love you"

"love you too" Jasper said as she exited the apartment, leaving her wife and daughter on the bed.

**_1 PM_ **

Lapis was sitting aT the kitchen table, the canvas was leaning against the beautifully Hand-crafted napkin holder, Sapphire always had a great eye for gifts. Lapis moved her arm along the canvas, loose brush-strikes gave form to a shiny silver mirror in front of a dark Background, lapis worked On the Piece absentmindedly,her face showed no Emotion and her mind was elsewhere in another time, she didn't notice she should've feed Malachite an hour ago, meanwhile Malachite was playing with a turtle toy on the floor but when she smashed the Toy against The fridge she finally snapped Lapis out of her trance.

Lapis Suddenly looked around remembering where she was, then her landed on The Little bay.

"Oh hey there, what do you think Mala?"Lapis said as she showed the Canvas to the baby. Malachite just turned her head and raised one eyebrow. "yeah its not very exiting, BUT that's what the hotel wants so... *sigh* are you hungry? cause I sure am " Lapis stood up and opened the fridge. "hmm do you want a sandwich?" The baby just responded with a high pitched exited sound "Oh no wait were out of cheese... and bread, sandwich of just ham it is" Lapis put two plates with ham on the table and sat her daughter on a chair, while the baby ate, she took out her phone and texted:

-Hey honey!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                -- -can you buy bread and cheese on your way back? :3

-Oh sorry lap don't have cash with me

-I'll buy it tomorrow

Lapis stare at her phone for a minute, she bitted her lower lip and then dialled a number. She bitted her nails while the phone at the other side ringed until finally someone answered.

"Hi, peri?" Lapis stood up. "yeah! its me, how is it going? how are things with amethyst?" She left the kitchen and entered the living-room "Oh sorry to heard it, you know I'll always be here if you need _someone_ right?..." She got to the door and turned around "Yeah every things all right with us, Mala is growing fast, I have been getting some commissions in and Jasper has been training harder than ever... yeah.. but" She passed the kitchen and into her room "Is your offer still up?" She entered the bathroom. "OH yeah of course she wants it! uh? well... She turned around and started the cycle again You know how prideful she is, she wanted me to do the call instead What?! NO she doesn't hate you! what gives you that idea? jaja, anyway about the offer... yes?! Oh thank you peri, thank, thank you, thank you, I owe you one. When can she start?"

8 pm

Jasper opened the door "Hey love, Im home"

She droped her gym bag at the entrance, it landed on a pile of unpaid bills, she gave a few steps to enter the kitchen and sat at the kitchen table, the small chair squeaked with her weight. Lapis stood leaning on the door of the room with arms crossed, looking at her with half-closed eyed.

"what's for dinner?" Japse said.

"..."

"What? why are you mad"

"im not mad" she stated coldly and calm.

"yeah right I know that look, c'mon here baby, tell me" she made a hand gesture.

Lapis looked down, debating with herself but finally gave in, she sighed loudly and sited in front of Jasper "im just *She looked away "why are you late? your training just lasts some few hours"

"yeah but after training I went to the Crystal bar with the Rubys"

"Oh really? I thought you didn't have cash" she looked with accusing eyes at Jasper.

"THEY paid for me! shit this is again about money isn't it? "

"Well what did you expect, Jasp? huh? you haven't had a full job since we married and look around! *she waved her arms around "we cant raise Malachite like this, like your moth-

"HEY! Jasper slammed her palm on the table making the cutterly tremble "DONT BRING UP MY FAMILY INTO THIS SHIT"

"shhhh dont shout, your gonna wake her up" *sigh*"Okay sorry, it was a low blow sorry but" she sitted in front of her and hesitantly entangled Jaspers hand with hers "we need the money"

"I know" she looked down,admiring how Lapi's slender hand looked so delicate between her rough big hands "thats why Im training hard, so I can finally win some tournaments and get bigger fights and then money will be plenty"

"I know and I believe in you" She said in tenderly almost hurt voice "but right know, we need a normal job to pay the bills, Malachite needs her other mother and I need you" she squeezed Jasper's hand harder. Japser stayed silent, she was looking at the ring in lapis hand, it had a beautifully carved Lapis Lazuli gem, she had worked so hard to get it, even Amethyst helped, her insides boiled with anger and shame when she had to ask the runt for extra money.

Lapis stood up,pulling out her hand from Jasper "I called Peridot for you,you're going to start next week so we have to buy you some proper clothes, you are lucky she still can give you a job"

"you did what?!" Jasper finally looked up at Lapis, her voice loud and trembling.

"Oh come on, its not that bad, your not becoming a slave, you still have free time to work out and hey I'll still take care Mala most of the time... if not all" The light started to flicker, Lapis look up and said "we need to buy some light bulbs by the way" And then she left the kitchen, leaving Jasper alone under the dim flickering light until the light bulb finally gave out.


	2. Sleepyhead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some years have passed since the last chapter.  
> Malachite is now in primary school, Jasper gave up his dreams of being a fighter and accepted the office job Peridot help her get. Lapis is till trying to get job as an artist when she is not busy with family life. 
> 
> They are clearly living in better conditions but that doesn't mean the troubles are over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get google translator ready bois cause this has spanish!!

[birthday photo#2](https://ian-od.tumblr.com/post/183482967901/so-i-made-a-steven-universe-fanfic-this-is)

6:30 am

-Mala just get out of the water!

-But mommy said I could stay more time in the tub!

-Well I say it's time up. Jasper said while looking at the bathroom mirror trying to tie her tie.

-BUT!

-Its okay honey, she can stay longer in the tub. Lapis voice was heard from another room, Jasper left the bathroom and and walked across the hall way into her bed room where Lapis was sitting, as always, in front of her large silver mirror fixing her hair.

-it's getting late for school.

-Yeah but the breakfast is not ready so there's no harm if she stays in the tub a little more. Lapis said still looking at the mirror trying to figure out her hair. -besides she loves being in the water.

-Well then you're the one who must hurry up and stop playing around. Lapis stopped and looked at Jasper through the reflection, then took her make up purse, the chair cried against the floor as she stood up then walked over to the door her eyes penetrated deeply in Jaspers.

-Is this the best you can do? Lapis said then untied jaspers tie. -Oh Japer how many years is it going to take you to make a decent tie knot? Jasper looked at the floor.

-Well at least I look good in suit right?! Lapis finished the tie knot , put her hand on Jasper cheek and with her thumb she softly caress her vitiligo skin. Jasper looked at those dark blue eyes as deep as the ocean. Lapis just gave a little smug smile and then left for the kitchen.

7:00 am

-Come on, just eat it sweety.

-But I don't like eating in the car!

-Whats the difference? It tastes the same! Lapis said while putting on her Make up.

-but I don't like it! Said Malachite from the Backseat Lapis turned her head to look at her daughter with an exasperated face

-you were eating in the car last week!

-I wasn't eating a whole bowl of cereal! Malachite said louder this time.

-Hey watch your mouth young lady Lapis said pointing a finger at her, then a loud klaxon was heard -shit, lapis hissed hoping her daughter hadnt't heard her and quickly got back to driving the car, she hadn't noticed the light had turned green already. Lapis looked at her watch - dammit we're going to be late. You better empty that bowl Mala.

The car stopped with a loud shriek in front of the school.

-Okay here we are , take off your seatbelt and... Lapis turned around to kiss her daughter goodbye but stopped when she saw her daughter looking at her with fear in her big eyes, cereal and milk was spilled all over the passenger seat -WHAT have you done Mala?! Lapis said without realizing how loud she was.

-Your were driving too fast! It just spilled!

-Then why you didn't said so before! Lapis continued to scream, too irritated to calm down.

-BECAUSE YOU WOULD GET MAD! Mala screamed in response.

\- BUT I STILL. I'm not... Ugh you know what just forget it, go to class if you get hungry it's your fault. Malachite obeyed silently, getting down of the car and frowning. Lapis got out of her seat to clean the mess in the back. All this fighting made her mind remember something. -fighting, a fight, Mala... Oh right! Lapis quickly turned around and yelled to her daughter -DON'T FORGET TO APOLOGIZE TO GARNET AND ALEXANDRITE! Mala just looked at her and rolled her eyes.

Once Lapis was done cleaning the mess, she ate the cereal that was left in the bowl, finished putting makeup on and looked at her watch.

-Okay 7:30 am I still have time before the party.

4:00 pm

-shit I don't have time. Lapis said in to her phone while she passed a red light and many angry honks. -Yeah I know but everything was going fine until I was called from Mala's school and they told me I had to go now, she got into trouble or something *sigh I don't what I'm gonna do with this kid Peri, maybe I'm a bad mother. Peridot responded from the other side  and Lapis smiled, she liked when Peridot told Her she was good enough. -Thanks Peri, look I just need you to pick some party stuff you know? A cake some balloons and whatever more stuff is used at parties. Okay thanks Peri I'll see you at my apartment. As soon as the call ended she threw the phone in the co-pilot seat and accelerated even faster, in no time she was in front of the school somehow without crashing into something.

4:14 pm

The classroom's wood door opened sharply with the sound of wood hitting the wall. As soon as she entered the room the blonde teacher looked at her with an arched brow, arms crossed and a judgmental looK. “Why her" she thought and then she looked at her daughter sitting in a desk with her head down and a look of shame in her eyes, like Jasper when she drinks one too many beers and let's her tongue loose. Lapis took a deep breath and then opened her mouth but the teacher cut her off.

-We are glad you finally decide we are worthy of your time Ms Lazuli.

-Sorry Ms... An awkward silence ensued while Lapis desperately searched in her memories for the name of the woman, she remembered every insufferable meeting but not the name.

-Zircon. Malachite finally said shyly from her seat.

-sorry Ms.Zircon it took me so long, I came as soon as I received the call.

-sure you did, too bad it took us 2 hours to finally answer.

-She has another mother you know?

-oh yes, a mother who actually answers her phone, but she explained us she couldn't come because _you know?_ she actually has a job. Lapis was biting too hard her tongue at this point so she just approached her daughter and hardly pull her from her wrist.

-Come on honey let's go apologize to Garnet.

-Oh there will be no need for that, _both_  of her mothers came as soon as the incident happened and left after getting tired of waiting for you. Also I'm afraid Malachite will be suspended for a week since this is not the first incident this year and she seems to not be willing to change. Lapis just stared at her for a moment, wanting to do so many things to this woman and without looking at her daughter she said.

-Wait for me in the car sweaty.

-But mo-

-Malachite Maria Lazuli! Wait for me in the car. As soon as she heard her full name fear filled Malachite so she did as she was told, leaving the two woman alone.

5:00 pm

Lapis entered the car, without a word she started driving.

-Why do you took so long? Malachite asked with childish curiosity but a soft tone, fearing making her mom angrier.

Lazuli looked at her from the rear-view window.

-Your not gonna be suspended.

-Oh okay... Some minutes passed in complete silence while Malachite tried to figure out what to say.

-Ehmmm... I'm sorry mo

-look I don't want to talk about it if you're sorry then you'll be quiet and a good girl at Mama's party tonight got it?

Malachite just nodded, oblivious of what would happen that night.

7:00 pm

-Surprise! Everyone shouted as soon as Jasper opened her door to her apartment. Jasper was surprised, not necessarily for the "surprise party" it was her birthday after all and what else could it happen at her birthday? What really took her off guard was the amount of people in her apartment, all her friends were here and even her sister Skinny and cousin carnelian who lived in another town! As her eyes looked around everyone her smile kept getting bigger and bigger until she saw another unexpected guest, Peridot, her smile started to fall but Lapis quickly grab her into a deep kiss and then a hug.

-Happy birthday tiger, CAN'T WAIT to show you my gift… in private.

Lapis whisper in her ear.

And just like that Jasper was smiling again and taught "yeah I can manage the Peridot runt for a few hours"

10:00 pm

By this point, the party was at its best, they had eaten the cake, everyone had drank enough beer to let loose their tongues but not too much, Malachite was asleep already, the Ruby sisters were having a drunk arm wrestling tournament at the dining table, whoever could defeat the oldest sister could ask her wife Saphire out on a date (not that she would lose or Saphire would accept anyway), Skinny was the DJ as usual, putting Latin music (the family favourites), Jasper, Carnelian and Amethyst were catching up, bitching about life and their parents, and finally Lapis was drinking wine with Saphire, Pearl and Peridot.

-Don't worry about it. Saphire said

-No seriously, I'm really really really sorry. Lapis said

-Its okay, it wasn't anything serious.

-yeah but it's not the first time Mala fights Garnet, and she doesn't deserve it at all she is a really sweet girl.

-Yeah she is super cute. Peridot commented from the side while eyeing the wine bottle. -not saying that mala isn't cute and all but you know She can be quite a clo...

-close kid to others. Finished Sapphire knowing Peridot would regret finishing that word in front of Lapis.

\- *sigh* yeah she's been having trouble making friends since... Well always, we thought she was just shy when she entered pre-school but nope, I think she really prefers being in water than with humans.

-Ha! reminds me of a certain someone back in the day. Peridot said nudging Lapis with her elbow.

-What do you mean back in the day? I'd still love to spend all day at the pool but I need someone to do me some company.

-I thought you only wanted to be surrounded by water.

-but your body is 60% water peri. Lapis smiled and tilted her head towards peridot. - actually 80% most of the time back in the day.

-hahaha. Peridot laughed nervously and blushed. -Shut up.

Saphire and pearl exchanged glances. pearl took a long sip of wine. -Sooooo... Little Mala has her _other mother_  nose! What impressive coincidence isn't it? Considering you were the carrier.

-Oh yeah that's good I guess, but it's not the only thing she has from Jasper *sigh* she is also quite the brawler as you have unfortunately seen.

-Oh don't worry Garnet is also a fighter as Ruby which makes more sense considering she was the carrier and well just look at her family.

They turned to look at the dining table where Jasper had joined the Rubys in the arm wrestling tournament and she was winning.

-Jasper you already have a blue haired wife you greedy fuck! Screamed Saphire's wife.

They all laughed -Yeah we should've seen that one coming. Said Saphire between giggles.

-Hey didn't Garnet fought against an older kid who was bullying other minors? Asked pearl with a proud tone.

-Yeah... Malachite was the bully actually. Said Sapphire softly.

-...

-Oh was she really? Shit I forgot about that. Said Lapis avoiding everyone's eyes. She was searching her memories for anything about that detail but from every meeting with Ms.Zircon she really didn't pay much attention. She didn't remember any of the words from that irritable voice she just remembered wanting to slap her, pull her hair, take out her anger on her. Pearl on the other hand said the first thing that came to mind to change the awkward topic. -hey! isn't that how Jasper and you met ? She fought the people who bullied you right? How heroic of her to do that right?

-Actually, I was the one who fought the bullies. Everyone looked surprised at Lapis -Well at least at the beginning it was like that. She took a sip from her wine. -she was getting bullied in the playground because of her vitiligo, so I fought them off until one day a kid threw rock at me or something and leave me with a nasty scar. Then Jasper swore she'll get strong to protect me from everyone else. And by high-school she did, anyone who dared touched me without my permission would get an arm broken. Everyone looked at Lapis with wide eyes, moved by her romantic tale, specially Pearl who looked like daydreaming, it reminded her of trashy romance novels she read.

-Oh yeah I remember! That's why Peridot had a broken arm in tenth grade right? Saphire said.

-Wh what -who? Me ? Well yeah me but I never touched Lapis I swear!

-hahah no but you keep staring at me like a creep.

-Well who wouldn't I MEAN I wasn't a creep, I just vaguely stared in your direction.

-Ha yeah right, you were trying to look under my skirt every time I dropped a pencil in front of your desk.

-I... Peridot was getting redder by the second. Wait you did that shit on purpose didn't you!?

-Who me? I don't know what you are talking about. Lapis said while trying and failing to burst out laughing with everyone else.

11:00 pm

-Well we have to go now, we don't wanna pay the babysitter more hours than necessary. Sapphire said while Grabbing her very Drunk wife.

-Aww going so soon saphy? Said Leggy

-You're sure You are taking home the right Ruby? Said Army

-Yep, very sure I for once I'm glad you all decided to do that stupid tattoo in different parts. She said while caressing her wife's tattoo in the palm of her hand.

-You sure you don't want to take home one of us instead? Said doc laughing with all the sisters.

-All right move a side goofs, I'm helping this ladies get a taxi.

-Fuck you Jasper, I'm no lady, I can get my love a cab. Said Ruby trying very hard to walk in straight line to the door.

-Sure you can pal, sure you can. Jasper grab her by the shoulder and opened the door for her while Ruby rambled about how a great friend she was.

-Thanks Jasp. Said Saphire while closing the door of the apartment behind her.

By this point most people started leaving and Jasper help them all get to their cars, taxi or bus and they gave her a final hug and good wishes when they left. The only guests left were Peridot, pearl and Skinny who was still choosing the songs, feeling the change of mood she decided to switch to a more fitting artist, she put a on a playlist of slow songs by Natalia Lafoucard. Lapis was in the sofa with an empty glass in her hand and her eyes closed. She was drifting away, ready to give in her tired mind, but then she heard those beautiful guitar chords and suddenly her mind was flooded with images of her college days, during that awful time Jasper and her broke up, she would play this song on repeat singing at the top of her lungs with tears in her eyes and cheap alcohol in her hand, hating she loved the song only because Jasper had taught her Spanish.

-Tu me acostumbraste... She started to sing and opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Peridot, Peridot, oh yes peridot, she was the only one she had at that time, the only one who stayed with her, the only one who consoled her.                                                                                                           -a todas esas cosas... She slowly stood up.                                                                                                                                                                     -y tu me ensenaste... She crossed the room with clumsy steps And got in front of Peridot who was talking with pearl but Lapis didn't even noticed her. -Que son maravillosas... She extended her hand to Peridot who was surprised by the gesture, she looked around and then accepted Lapis invitation, putting one hand in Lapis hand and the other on her waist, lapis smiled.                                                                                                                         -Sutil llegaste a mi...

-you're so drunk. Peridot giggled

-como la tentación... Lapis began to slowly lower her hand on the back of Peridot.

-You know I don't understand a word of what your saying right?. Lapis pulled her closer.

-Llenando de inquietud... Peridot gave up on trying to communicate with the drunk woman so she just let her head rest in Lapis collarbone and Lapis rested her cheek on the smaller girls mane.                                                                                                                                                                     -Mi corazon. They continued to slow dance in silence as the song went on their warm bodies going back and ford, looking just as one body dancing slowly, embracing herself. The song was ending and Lapis knew, she knew those final lines so well, she used to pour all her emotions in those lines.    -Por eso me pregunto al ver que me olvidaste...

In that moment Jasper entered the apartment, the first thing she saw was her wife and Peridot dancing, maybe it was the alcohol, the surprise or her broken heart but she didn't move, she just stood there watching them dance.

-Porque no me enseñaste cómo se vive sin ti...                                                                                                                                                                -Porque no me enseñaste cómo se vive sin ti.

Pearl, who was also watching the dance but with jealousy, was the first one to notice Jasper, getting nervous she quickly approach her.

-oh hi Jasper! I was just going to leave... Would you be so kind to walk me to my car? She said with the best nervous smile she could make.

-Walk yourself out pearl. Pearl was about to reply but she was interrupted.

-C'mon pearl I'll walk you home. Said Skinny while pushing Pearl out of the apartment. Skinny looked at Jasper with pity.

-I told you years ago, the water witch is just trouble.

-you've never liked any of my girlfriends.

-Hey it's not my fault you have shit taste for the troubled ones.

-Says the one trying to take pearl to bed. Skinny Gave a little chuckle and left the apartment, closing the door behind her.

Jasper Began walking towards the girls who were still dancing, apparently oblivious to everything around them. Jasper gulped, she felt heavy, and hot, everything was spinning and she had no clue what she was going to do, before she know it she was just standing besides them, watching them intensely. Peridot raised her head feeling like she was being watch, and she was, her eyes locked with Jasper's intense eyes,she immediately pushed Lapis away.

-I..I Im sorry. She babbled with sweat already in her forehead. But then she relaxed thinking "wait, I didn't do anything wrong and we're not in high school so is not like shes going t- Jasper punched her right in the face and Peridot fellto the ground.

-What the fuck Jasper! Lapis screamed as she kneeled besides Peridot who was trying to stop her bleeding nose.

-it's okay Lapis. Replied Peridot

-No it's not okay, c'om here I... Lapis tried to put her arm around Peridot

-I said ITS FINE. She repelled Lapis's hand. Lapis looked at her shocked. Peridot got up and walked towards Jasper. -Here. Peridot gave Jasper an envelope. -Happy birthday Jasper. The she walked out of the apartment. Now Jasper and Lazuli were alone.

Lapis slowly got up. -You always have to ruin things! don't you? Lapis said with spiteful tone.

-You never dance like that with me. Jasper simply replied with a surprisingly low voice, Lapis looked at her incredulous and took a moment before replying.

-I was just dancing with my best friend! What the fuck is wrong with that?

-You NEVER dance with me like that Lapis.

-What do you mean?! She replied with a higher tone and moving her arms in exasperation.

\- I'm your wife for fuck sake of course we have danced! Or have you forgotten our wedding night because you drank too much? She pointed at the ring on her hand made out of Lapis Lazuli stone.

-Y-you know what I mean!

-NO i DONT!

-the -the way you look at her and

-No!

-and The way you touch her

-No no no no. Lapis said while shake her head.

-Your'e overthinking it.

-No.

-You're drunk and

-no Lapis don't bullshit me you know exactly what so mean.

-...

-You're always like that with her... It's like... like you love her and not me. Jasper started crying only by thinking that possibility, that have never happened, she never let that happened but her mind was too drunk too tired too sad to care. Lapis approached her slowly, she caressed jaspers cheek, wiping away the tears with her thumb.

-Of course I love you Jasper. She kissed Jasper but the kiss wasn't returned.

-Then why you don't dance with me like that? Lapis took a long moment to response, her eyes searched her wife's face looking for a good answer. You've been so busy since you got that job but... She put Jasper's hand in hers.

-We can dance now. And so they tried to dance but, they looked clumsy, rigid, off. Jasper let go of Lapis and turned around to go to her room. Lapis sighed in frustration and pinched the bridge of her nose. -Im trying love! May-maybe we're too drunk or... Ehh... We're not in the mood for this. Jasper turned around quickly.

-Oh yeah of course is the mood! Yeah right like eeeeevery night you're not in the mood!? She said with a new found anger.

-Is this about IT again?

-...

-Holy shit, I can't believe you this is about it... just because I don't fuck you lately doesn't mean

-Lately ?! ITS BEEN MONTHS.

-yeah So?! It doesn't mean I don't love you!

-ITS not just that

-it's juts that, look you *sigh* you are distant you don't look happy when I come home, you don't cook for me.

-Excuse me ?! So you're saying I have to be you're little slave bitch to you in order to love you!

-No no that's not what I meant Its just, I come home so tired I'm just asking for a little of affection.

-And you think I'm not tired? You think I go all day watching soap operas? I'm still working hard to become successful artist, you know that's my dream, I'm not your trophy wife

-Well at least you can still chase your dream, I gave up mine so that you and Mala could have a decent life remember?

-well I was the one who carried Mala for nine months remember? Do you know how painful it is to push a whole human out of your vagina?

-*Sigh* I guess I don't. Jasper let herself collapsed on the sofa, feeling very tired.

-Imagine shitting a whole watermelon.

Jasper let out a soft chuckle. -My shits are pretty big tho.

-Oh yeah, I wouldn't have marry you if I knew how bad they are. Lapis said with a smile and then collapsed on the other side of the sofa. They stayed in the sofa for a while, listening to the playlist that was still on, looking at the ceiling feeling so tired, not wanting to break the peace but eventually...

-honestly what do you feel for her.

-For Peridot?

-mhhm

-I love her... but in a sister kinda way.

-I don't fuck my sisters.

-*sigh* that was many years ago and just a couple of times when we broke up! get over it already.

-A couple of times? you told me it was a one time thing!

Lapis pinched the bridge of her nose. -look, you don't want to know the details it'll just hurt you so lets just forget all that.

-do you ever think about divorce?

-...

Jasper turned her head to look at her.

-No. Lapis lied and they both knew.

-Isn't it a little late for this? I mean what time is it?

00:00

-But if we don't discuss it now, when?

-NEVER cause there's nothing to discuss, we're just a little emotional you are clearly in a mid-life crisis and I'm on my period, that's that's all.

Jasper just raised an eyebrow.

-Look lets lets ehmmm... open the present Peridot got you okay?

Jasper looked at her closed fist, she had forgotten the envelope. She stretched the envelope and opened it, she read the wrinkled letter in it and her eyes went wide open. Lapis looked at her with curiosity and fear, trying to decipher if it was a good or a bad surprise, what could have Peridot told her to make her react like this?

-IM I'm getting a promotion...

-thats great honey! Lapis hug her tightly.

-They are putting me in charge of a new division... In Australia. Lapis stopped her embrace and opened her eyes when the realisation hit her.

-Oh

-Yep.

-...

-of course I can decline it if you want to...

-But... do you want to?

-I don't know, do You?

-I don't know...

-Hmmmm. And now they were back to staring clueless at the ceiling, pondering about all their decisions.

-I mean... the payment is way better, we could buy our dream house. Jasper said.

-Yeah, yeah we could, Its just.. Australia wow, that's at the other side of the world love.

-Maybe, maybe it's for the best.

-huh?

-It could be a fresh start, for us, for our family.

-What for? -C'mon Lap lets face it, this is not what we dreamed for our future.

Jasper said while waving her hand between her and Lapis.

-...

-But that's okay, we were young and stupid, now we can raise a better home maybe even Mala will be a good kid.

-She IS a good kid, she's just misunderstood.

-You know what I mean.

-*sigh* I don't know love, its such a big decision, we should discuss it later.

-No, no, that's what you say and we never talk again about it.

-Thats not true.

-Oh really? then let's talk now about how you get Mala out of suspensions every time.

-... Lapis bitted her her lip and looked away.

-No? okay then, let's talk about how to save our marriage.

-You're overreacting Jasper, our marriage doesn't need “saving”, its fine as it is.

-But it could be better. ugh What are you afraid of?

-What am I afraid of? how about going to a country with where I don't know anyone and no friends or job!

-or Peridot?

Lapis gave an irritated grunt. - what! do you want to move just to get me away of my best friend?

-Sorry, it slipped, that wasn't what I... look you don't need to worry Im sure you'll do friends fast and it's not like you need a job.

-I've told you I don't want to be a stay-at-home-mom.

-Okay okay, but Australia has some of the best art cities, I'm sure it'll be easier to be an artist in Sydney, Melbourne or Brisbane than beach city and hey you love the sea, Australia has a tone of beaches.

Lapis reflected for a while with her chin on her hand, until suddenly she felt something warm in her neck. Jasper was kissing her. She tried to tell her something but as soon as she opened her mouth, Jasper's lips were one hers, thanks was when she realized it indeed had been a long time since they shared a kiss like this and even longer since... Lapis pull Jasper closer. When they finally stopped to breath.

-So... What do you say?Jasper asked between gasps.

-Yeah yes great idea. Lapis answered pulling Jasper back again for another needy kiss. After a while Jasper was on top of Lapis, they quickly took off their shirts, only breaking the kiss to take it over her head and throw it away. Jasper began kissing her ear.

-I was thinking... Jasper said, and then kissed her neck.

-Mhmmm... Lapis hummed but it sounded more like a moan

-What if... Then kissed her collarbone.

-Hmm...

-With all the money we're gonna get... Then between her breasts.

-ahaaa...

-If we... Her belly.

-Yeah...

-Have another kid. She kissed her hip bone but this time Lapis opened her eyes and didn't respond. Jasper stopped and looked at her expectantly.

-I... I I don't know Jasp, I don't know if I can have another AAHH!. Lapis let out a surprised yell as Jasper kissed her clit.

-But you said we couldn't have another because we couldn't afford it, but now with the new job plus we get a discount if we choose the same fertility clinic. Jasper went back to her clit, Lapis tried this time to control her moans more.

-I... Is is nooot only about the money. lapis said, trying to sound compose.

-it'll be easier this time, Mala can help us, it'll be great for her to have responsibilities.

-I don't know honey.

Jasper stopped, raised her head and looked at Lapis straight in the eyes -remember the first months of Mala? they way her tiny hand would squeeze your finger, or when her first words were Mama and we argued over who was mama and who was mom, Don't you miss that? Felling absolute love for a human being?

-... Lapis was too perplexed to answer, vignettes of memories were floating in her head filling her with too many emotions.

-C'MON Just say yes. Jasper said with a big grin and proceeded to eat her out, Lapis close her eyes and tried to concentrate, Jasper was moving faster, family polaroids were speeding through her mind, she clenched to the sofa, her knuckles going white and then decided.

-Yes!!.

And that's how I was born.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so any kind of feedback is apreciated. it can something like "your act structure sucks considering the theory of Robert Mckee" to "you smell good" or if you just want to talk I'll also love to talk to you guys :)
> 
> thanks for reading.


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